On Solid Ground

My hysterectomy is now an event two weeks in the past. I am starting the third week of my recovery. Surprisingly, I only feel the need for a physical recovery. I honestly thought I would have more "baggage" with this process, but it seems that any emotional attachment went out with the uterus, the ovaries, and the adhesions that had them all glued to the rest of my insides.

So... what have I learned the last couple of weeks? Ironically, I realize I have turned into my father. During the last few years of Dad's life, we saw how he turned into a shadow of his former self. Dad walked very slowly and deliberately, touching or grasping nearby furniture or walls to give him a sense of balance and direction and control. Every step was carefully orchestrated. I feel that I am shuffling in his slippers right now.

In the quest for peace and the elimination of stress, we may often hear experts tell us of the need for mindful awareness or mindfulness. Surprisingly, I am discovering that state with each careful motion. I cannot afford to let my mind wander. My abdominal incision requires my utmost attention and intention with each action, from rising to walking to sitting. My doctor has me on blood thinner to prevent clots, so cuts and bruises must be avoided. Each movement requires planning and determination. I am amazed how formerly simple actions that might only take a moment become a slow dance that can fill the day.

Frequently, people become lost in their mindless pursuits-- emails, texts, calls, appointments, social networks, reality television. We are lost in a bombardment of information, communication, and entertainment. Surrounded by hordes of other humans through every possible medium, we feel small and alone. We want to matter and want to know who we are and why we are here.

Let me offer this-- before you try to identify who you are, get a grasp on where you are. Slow down. Stop and feel your feet planted firmly on the ground. Notice the air upon your skin. Listen as your breaths enter and leave your nose, airway, and lungs. Sense your hand upon a stair rail. Defy the effect of gravity against muscle as your thighs, legs, and feet carry you up the stairs. Watch your feet on each step. As you walk across the room, pay attention to the nearness of the furniture and other objects to your feet, your sides, your swinging arms. Know where you are. When you realize that you are a body as well as a mind, you may begin to sense the reality of you. This precious life is not for spectators.

Be the zebra on solid ground. Eat the grasses. Taste the waters. Feel the sunshine absorb into your black bands and reflect off the white stripes. Feel the energy of your legs carry you to peaceful plains.